Secrets of a long-term relationship - Part 1
Why can’t a relationship just be easy? Why do we need to overcomplicate things? Sometimes I believe it would be just so much better if we went through life not being bothered whether or not we find that significant other. We would definitely save ourselves from some pretty emotional heartbreak. After all, we all have so much on our plate all the time that we worry about, who needs that extra suffering, right? The truth is, though, it is all worth it. When we find true love, it is magical. It sweeps away all the bad and painful memories and brightens each and every day.
Unfortunately, when I look around me, I don’t see many happy relationships. Most of the time, people want to change others because they want to impose their own values and standards on others, and with that, they fail to accept the person next to them for who or what they are. The great news is that everyone has the opportunity to learn what true love is. It is never too late.
In my opinion, we need to include the following ingredients into our recipe for a long-term loving relationship: chemistry, compatibility, communication, compromise, and last but not least, commitment.
Chemistry: Does he make your heart pound and your toes curl? Do you recall all his touches and moves when you are alone? Do you want to rip his jeans off at the end of the date? Chemistry is great to have, but it’s only a start. The infatuation will end. Don’t commit yourself to a relationship unless you have the rest of the Cs too.
Compatibility: Do you enjoy or even hate the same things? Does he make you feel at ease when you are together? Compatibility is the key to sustain a relationship over the long run. It provides the quality that makes our life a bit sweeter. It includes the following areas, such as sense of humour, matching interests, common backgrounds, and similar values. But please bear in mind that unless you are willing to accept the other person for who he or she is with all his or her differences and imperfections, your relationship is doomed. A simple example is that if you are not on the same page about having kids, you are not compatible.
Communication is the most important aspect of all the Cs that can make or break a relationship. It sounds obvious and simple, but then why are so many couples arguing without finding a resolution to the problem? Communication includes verbal and non-verbal levels. On a verbal level is an art of listening, hearing and understanding. On the other hand, it can be a look, a hug, or a touch of the hand without any particular reason. Remember, disagreements are natural in a relationship. Good communication allows you to discuss everything openly with your partner without having to feel that you need to compromise your core values. When an argument occurs, with the help of communication, you can also learn how to forgive and how to move on afterwards.
In part 2, you can read about the last two “C”-s: Compromise and Commitment.